I pull back or shut down

When things get tense or emotional, you step back.

You go quiet, create distance, or find a reason to be somewhere else - physically or mentally. You do care about the others person, something in you just needs to escape the intensity.

You might:

go quiet or shut down completely
struggle to find words in the moment
distract yourself to avoid thinking about it
feel overwhelmed when someone pushes for a conversation you're not ready for
need time alone before you can even begin to process what happened

The relief of stepping back feels good in the moment, but it's usually temporary. Because while you're recovering and feeling that sense of relief, the other person is often left feeling shut out or confused - and that tension doesn't go away. It just waits until the next time.

Want to understand where this comes from - and how to shift it?

Watch my free video: Why you keep getting stuck in the same patterns - and how to start changing them.

Watch it here

About Skye

I'm a relationship and trauma counsellor based in the Hunter Valley. I work with individuals and couples across Australia.

Most people come to me when they're stuck - in the same arguments, the same dynamics, the same feelings - and can't figure out why. My work is about getting underneath that, so you can understand yourself and others, and the change actually sticks.

Check out my services here.