Therapist Notes.

I’ve sat in the client chair often over the past 18 years, as a human who was hurting, searching, and hoping for change. And that experience changed everything for me. It didn’t magically solve all my problems, but it gave me something I hadn’t had in a long time: a safe place to bring all of me . The messy, tender, uncertain parts. The parts that weren’t coping or had been holding it all together for far too long. The thoughts and emotions I had tucked away because I feared

This is part two - you can read my first blog here: Things nobody tells you about grief. Not knowing how to live without them... Life can feel like it comes to a standstill when we lose someone we love. We don't know where to turn or what to do next. You are forever changed when you lose somebody you love and it is normal to feel like a hole has been left in your life that cannot ever be filled again. And nobody can replace that person, but we can learn to fill that void with

Have you ever noticed how your body reacts before your mind has time to catch up? Maybe your chest tightens before a difficult conversation, or you shut down completely when life feels overwhelming. This is your nervous system  at work. And one of the best ways to understand it is through something called Polyvagal Theory , a framework developed by Dr. Stephen Porges that helps explain why we react the way we do, and how we can come back to feeling safe and connected. Your ne

Overwhelm doesn’t always look like panic. Sometimes, it looks like a thousand tabs open in your brain. It’s forgetting what you walked...

Dr. John Gottman is a relationship expert who's cracked the code on what makes marriages work (or fail) based on research of over 3,000 couples. He's famous for his "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" – four destructive behaviours that are the greatest predictors of divorce/relationship breakdown: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling. So, let's have a look at each of these behaviours and how you can work at changing them if they are present in your relationship.

Many of us feel like we need to go on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement, digging deeper into our past experiences, looking at every action and behaviour of ourselves and others with a critical eye and trying to find the one root cause or problem for it all, or the quick fix to make it all better. It can be empowering and exciting at first, but can quickly become exhausting, stressful and... stuck. It's a bit of a vortex, the world of healing, with endless self-

It's that time of year again - “New Year, New You!” , “What’s in/out” trends, “Time to crush your goals!” and “Go big or go nowhere!” type of messaging, especially on social media. I've been sharing about goal-setting too, because as a counsellor, I support my clients to achieve goals. Here's the thing though, I don't view goals as having to be mountain-sized ambitions that inspire envy on Instagram or in your friendship circle. And your goals certainly shouldn't be runnin

Do you ever wonder why you tend to react or behave in certain ways with your partner? It could be because of your attachment style. Attachment theory was created by psychoanalyst John Bowlby in the late 1950s, and developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth further developed the theory in the following years after doing her own research studies. Attachment is described as the emotional bond formed between a child and their primary caregiver (usually the mother) in response to t

When my sister Jaye passed away unexpectedly 15 years ago, I was not at all prepared for grief. I had previously only lost my great-grandmother, and whilst I loved her dearly and was sad, it was nothing like this. The physical, mental and emotional exhaustion; the rollercoaster of emotions; and, the overwhelming panic, fear and anxiety. It was A LOT. And nobody talks about it. So let’s do just that.  The Exhausting Early Stages: In the early stages of grief, the weight is not