Feeling overwhelmed? What your body is trying to tell you (and how to listen)

Overwhelm doesn’t always look like panic. Sometimes, it looks like a thousand tabs open in your brain. It’s forgetting what you walked into the room for. It’s crying at the end of the day for “no reason.” It’s staring at your to-do list and doing nothing at all.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

Feeling overwhelmed is a message, not a moral failing

We often see overwhelm as something to power through. But what if it’s trying to tell you something? Overwhelm usually arises when:

• There are too many competing demands on your energy

• You’re ignoring your emotional needs

• You feel unsafe, unsupported, or over-responsible

  
  

Underneath the busyness might be sadness. Loneliness. Fear. Sometimes, even unprocessed grief.

Your nervous system is saying: “This is too much. I can’t hold it all.”

How overwhelm affects your Nervous System

When you’re overwhelmed, your nervous system can shift into a state of dysregulation. This might look like:

• Hyperarousal (fight/flight): anxious energy, irritability, racing thoughts, overworking

• Hypoarousal (freeze): shutdown, numbness, fatigue, feeling “frozen” or spaced out

  
  

Your brain, flooded with stress hormones like cortisol, struggles to focus. You might be more reactive, more forgetful, or more emotionally sensitive than usual. These are survival responses.

None of this means you’re failing. It means your body is doing its best to cope with something that feels unmanageable.

How to gently respond to overwhelm

Instead of powering through, try pausing. Ask yourself:

• What do I need right now?

• Can I do just one small thing?

• What would help me feel grounded in this moment?

  
  

Try:

• Deep breathing (try box breathing: inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) or inhale for 4, hold for 4 and exhale for 8 to slow the out breath.

• Engaging your senses - naming 3 things you can see, touch, and hear

• Going outside, even for 5 minutes

• Talking to someone who feels safe

These are not “quick fixes” - they’re cues of safety for your nervous system. And over time, they help shape a more regulated nervous system.

What a regulated Nervous System really looks like

One common misconception I hear is that a regulated nervous system means never feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. That’s not true, and it’s not the goal.

A regulated nervous system doesn’t mean no stress. It means your body can experience stress and then return to a place of relative calm and balance. It means having the flexibility to move through different states - activation, rest, connection - without getting stuck in survival mode.

In real life, this looks like:

• Being able to feel anger or fear without shutting down or lashing out

• Recovering from a difficult conversation without spiraling for hours

• Feeling tired and choosing to rest instead of forcing yourself to push through

• Responding with intention instead of reacting automatically

  
  

Regulation isn’t perfect. It’s resilience.

You don't have to hold it all

If overwhelm is your constant companion, it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to hold it all alone.

Therapy offers a space to unpack the emotional weight you’ve been carrying, to understand the roots of your overwhelm, and to find ways of coping that feel sustainable.

You are not too much. You're doing too much with too little support.

If you're ready to begin that conversation, I’m here. Learn more about how I work and how I can help you at www.bluejaycounselling.au.

I’m Skye Welbourne, a registered counsellor who supports people navigating stress, anxiety, burnout, and the emotional load of modern life. My approach is slow, compassionate, and rooted in nervous system awareness.

Download my FREE Balanced over Busy Workbook for tips on how to build in self-care and other habits to help you minimise overwhelm.

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